I bought this eyeball marble for a quarter n’ got all exciteddd!!! (๑>ᴗ<๑)
…this photoset is really Charles Burns-y, must be them teeth. I’m trying to think about the last place where I felt immensely happy, I can only come up with Toy Joy or the Evolution store in soho, ny. This time it was Terra Toys. They’re all similar in weirdness and quirkiness so I find a lot of things that inspire me. It’s been so hot in austin and im dying please help me and I strongly believe there is a sneaky little elf in my apartment stealing all of my spoons. 

austin texas journal terra toys

little bits of everything + my workspace 
here and there things are getting better, though slowly. I’m gathering up confidence to begin showing some of my illustrations I’ve worked on. I talk to my friends a lot about sharing their work, good and bad and all but, how can I say that when I don’t even follow my own advice? Tomorrow, or actually later, I’ll head down to the print shop, get my folder out and start scanning stuff. I’ve become way too comfortable with hiding my work just bc I don’t think they’re good enough. It’s a very silly way to think but more than anything it is hurtful. Because I know I have missed out on really good opportunities due to this and now I regret it. I felt especially terrible about this today and then the inevitable happened. I flopped onto my bed and became a vegetable. Thoughts swirling all over the place but then, it turns out I was just really hungry.  

eightball taxi driver atx workspace studio photography collage writing journal spilled ink

~ ramen & coffee boba & ridiculously soft, furry lawns 
Yesterday I hung out with ashariser (petting the grass), she’s leaving soon so I’m trying to hang with her as much as I can bc she’s the loveliest and radiates wonderfulness everywhere. 

journal atx

getting rid of bad habits, like compulsively looking for answers in someone else&#8217;s words, trying to decode the mystery I was left with, waking up in the middle of the night hoping to see if maybe there is something there for me. Planting series of code to track me, if my &#8216;pinging&#8217; wasn&#8217;t a sign of me calling out then what is it. Like who sits there knowing, just watching, in a one way mirror, it&#8217;s awful. It sucks. And I&#8217;m tired.

getting rid of bad habits, like compulsively looking for answers in someone else’s words, trying to decode the mystery I was left with, waking up in the middle of the night hoping to see if maybe there is something there for me. Planting series of code to track me, if my ‘pinging’ wasn’t a sign of me calling out then what is it. Like who sits there knowing, just watching, in a one way mirror, it’s awful. It sucks. And I’m tired.

journal spilled ink writing

"I just thought my world would be a better place if you were in it."
I’m watching a whole lotta movies lately. I would provide some valuable quotes or something but it will be a lot of hysterical screaming, shooting, eerie music and crying. I’ll post some screenshots later instead.
Anyways, I’ve started to pack my stuff (finally). 

pushing daisies spilled ink journal writing fruits

i’m okay (not really but i’m working on it)
I remember being 17 as a very strange, lonely time. Heavily influenced by books and movies, I sunk into some world that was really just a composite of all the things that gave me a reason to believe I was receiving something like secret knowledge or magic wisdom. Filling up journals that I will never show to anybody bc it is just too embarrassing. Like the one phase where I decided to put my terrible poems on the internet. However, as bad as they were I wish I still had them bc anybody who wants to make good stuff almost always begins with the bad stuff. Unless you’re Bjork and rose from volcanic geysers to take over the world with an amazing voice and enormous talent/weirdness. As for me, I think I’m still in that stage where there’s a lot of distance between where I am now and the kind of work I want to do. And eventho it’s been 3 years since I realized this, I’m pretty sure it is just the beginning and all I can do is to continue to work until I can close that gap. Trying to create peace within. Hindering fears of judgement and ineptitude and maybe just lay on the grass and look for bugs instead. This is a very long post, if anybody has read this far, I am sorry. image

i dislike pictureless posts so here’s a photo I took of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo’s studio/home during my trip to Mexico in 2011.

journal frida kahlo diego rivera bjork spilled ink

punch-drunk love & ginger snaps
Today was a very slow, yellowy hazy day. I arrived at print workshop feeling like a poached egg bc traffic was the absolute worst. My only consolation: watching pretty cool graffiti pass by on the freights of union pacific. I’m trying to post everyday, start some sort of archive of sorts. Yesterday felt almost unreal, I thought I was dreaming. Had one of those happysad moments where things are just a little too late. 

journal

long time no postin’!
~ At some point I’ll have to snap out of hopeless daydreams and move on with my life. I’ve been stuck in a very bad rut this year, still gets difficult sometimes. However, I’ve moved into an apartment! but I’m flying out soon and I haven’t packed bc I much rather be in printmaking workshop nowadays. I’m currently working on a lithograph and finishing up a copper plate etching. I have fallen in love with prints… unfortunately tho, this is a one sided relationship, print dun love me back.